i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
