I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
