Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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