The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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