She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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