after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
