You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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