Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
