Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL

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(858): View more from California

Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere

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(217): View more from Illinois

Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning

(1-217): View more from Illinois

didn't feel it. :)

(217): View more from Illinois

It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.

(1-217): View more from Illinois

wait what? so it's not in america?

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip

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(815): View more from Illinois

Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover

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(302): View more from Delaware

Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.

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(716): View more from New York

He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that

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(916): View more from California

I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.

(707): View more from California

Which part?

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