they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
