I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
