i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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