My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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