you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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