Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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