Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
this hospital has no fireball
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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