when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
