If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
