But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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