Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
