So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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