Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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