so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
