Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize