I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
We had sex on a dog bed..
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dick very happy bro
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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