i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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