either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Randomize
