Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
