This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
