No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
