My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
