lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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