i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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