I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
