Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Randomize