I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
