On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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