so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
