you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My vagina just clenched in fear
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
