I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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