Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
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