This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
