she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
