the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize