elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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