i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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