And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
