Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
