im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i out mim tonsoeep
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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