yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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