Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
