I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
