He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
