all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
