Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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