she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
