There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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