I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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