He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Quick, to the slutcave!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
