glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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