His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
