Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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