Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
