I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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