1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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