and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
