when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
im holly from the hills drunk
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize