mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
